miércoles, 29 de febrero de 2012

Good news to end february!


This is going to be a two in one post.

First I finally  have an answer, in fact three answers. Three of the fertility clinics I wrote to, have answered. It´s very simmilar to what I´ve thought. But there´s a big detail, I can choose the donor. This is actualy a good,  I was a bit upset because I thought They would do that, but I was wrong.
The costs are similar in the three clinics and not as expensive as a fertility treatment in my country.

Secondly, I got a new job!

and you can´t imagine how happy I´m for this! I have been looking for a good job for a while and finally I found one. This is the beggining on my new life. Now I´ll focus in saving for a house and finding one.

I think my life is starting to be as I want it to be. I´m very happy.

martes, 21 de febrero de 2012

Update!


Since I realized that I won't be able to have a fertility treatment in my country I started to send emails to every fertility clinic that I found  in Argentina. Noone has answered yet, but since it is carnival I suppose they didn't went to work. 

Apparently, There´s no regulation of fertility treatments there, so It´s legal for singles. I also read that a couple of lesbians had a baby via IVF. The only bad thing is that you can´t choose your donor, and your child in the future won´t be able to meet his father :/

I have no idea about the costs in my country but in Argentina it is about 5000 US dollars, for a round of IVF all included, medicine, ultrasound, and some other stuff. I also have to pay for the trip and a hotel.  I don´t think that's expensive, isn´t it? 

 I hope to have an answer soon.

domingo, 19 de febrero de 2012

Bad news


As I'm not trying to conceive yet and I'm  getting ready for that, I did a little investigation about fertility clinics in my country. I had an ugly surprise. 
In my Country there's a fertility law, which ONLY ALOWS MARRIED  COUPLES TO CONCEIVE.  If you want to be a single mom/dad or If you are lesbian and with your partner  want a baby you can´t have access to assisted fertilization. 
This makes me angry! It's not fair!!!
Why can´t I be a mom? Because I'm not married?
You can´t be a mom if you are not heterosexual?
Right now I feel discriminated. 
So what about adoptions? Ok you have to be married to, and it´s hard to adopt even if you are married.
I need a new plan. This is going to be really hard...

martes, 14 de febrero de 2012

I am ready?

Good question!

When I was 18 months old my sister was born, three and half years after, my youngests brother was born. I remember how used to change his diaper and I was only five! Two months before my tenth birthday my first nephew was born. After that, our family recived 8 baby boys (yes all boys :D). When there was a baby there I was, so I learn at a really young age how to treat a baby.

I know what to do with a baby. But motherhood isn´t just about how to treat a baby, isn´t it? How do I know if I´m  ready? 

After almost two years thinking I realized that I can´t know until I become a mother. However I can have an idea. I used to "babysit" my godson, and I can say for sure I loved that. Everything!! going to the park, baby bath, nap time music (we used to listen baby music to sleep), baby food and a big etc. Now my god son is six, and we have a great "little" relationship (he used to call me mama until he realizes I wasn´t his mama). He is a beautiful boy! So if you ask my I would say yes I am ready, but as I say before, I can´t know for sure...

Then there´s a bigger challenge, Would I be a good mother?
I am that kind of person who doesn´t like to judge. I don´t know if I can do things better than someone else, or  how I would act at a certain situation so I can´t opine. However  I don´t like the way my sister/cousins are raising their kids. I know they I´ll love them, but that doesn´t justify spoiling them. I don´t want to spoil my kids, I want them to be happy. I´ll do my best for them, and I´ll love them. 

Would I be a good mother? I hope so

sábado, 11 de febrero de 2012

Analysis

A couple of days ago, I read in a forum a post of a woman whose ten years boyfriend of ten years didn´t want to have kids. She wanted to be a mom so she was thinking about insemination. Many people told her she was a "bad woman, who didn´t love his partner" and that "she didn´t deserve him". I was like OMG I CAN´T BE READING THIS" but actually,I was. So I commented to say that if she really wanted to be a mom, she shouldn´t be waiting for the man of her dreams, and that she should do what makes her happy. That was the worst thing I could have done! I was insulted because of my comment.
Obviously, I won´t change my mind because  a bunch of impolite people don´t agree with me, but that made me think. Think about what? About the arguments I have to support my desicion. I made a list about what people (not the impolite ones) asked the girl to think about before doing anything. I think it´s a good idea to have great answers to these questions, because one day I´ll have to answer them. So, here it is!

*Are you ready to be a mom?
*Trying to have your own baby while there are lots of kids whithout a mom/dad is a selfish act, why don´t you adopt?
*Who is going to take care of your baby, while you work?
*What would happen to your baby if something bad  happens to you?
*Do you know how much money you need to rise a baby?
*Can you afford education fees?
*Did you know that if you don´t have a man by your side, it´s going to be very hard to rise your baby?
*How will you explain to your baby that he/she doesn´t have a father?

I have my ideas and I won't change them, but I know that not everyone is going to be happy with them. That´s why I need some good answer, experience taught me that if you expose your ideas with solutions to the possible problems people will  at least respect you.
I´m going to think about my great answers and I´ll post about them later.

Have a good weekend!






























































































































miércoles, 8 de febrero de 2012

My story, my decision


As I said in my first post I'm going to talk about how I decide to be a SMC. 
First of all, I grow up in a totally normal family, with a mom, a dad, siblings, and I never saw my parents arguing. I was rised in a christian family (don´t ask about my religion because I´m not sure of it) So, you can say I was a totally normal girl.
When I was a little girl, I always dream with  big families; mom dad and maybe four or five children. however as I grow up I started to pay attention just on babies. Why? I think because I grew up rounded by babies. First, my older cousin had two boys, then my other two cousins had a boy each, finally my sister (one and half year younger than me) had a boy (yes, all boys). At first it was funny playing with the babies, bath them or change their diapers/clothes. Then I realized I love babies and that I would have mine one day because babies/kids make me happy.
I decided at a young age that I wanted to have kids. But what about having a husband? Well, I was never sure about that, but can´t decide if I don´t know how it is. I had experiences with babies but never had a husband!I was allways open to meet boy, but they were not interest in me as a girl, only as a friend. It can be painful, and I suffered a lot because of that.
I can say I was in love tree times. The first two were just nasty men, and I still don´t get how I fall in love with them. The last one... I still love him, and we are actually in a relationship, but I know this is going to end one day or other. I´m crying as I write this, I thought he was my soul mate. I won´t blame he, nor me, sometimes things won´t work... I don't wanna talk about this because it makes me sad, and I can´t be sad. I have a future to plan!


Lately I come up with this idea; not all woman are made to be with a man and not all woman are made to have babies. I´m made to be alone, I know that, but I also know I´m made to be a mom. the decision of being a single mom is not easy, and It was´nt took in a deseperate moment. I had a long and deep talk with some close friends about it, and did my own analysis (I´ll post about every aspect I had analized).
I won´t let anyone keep me off my dream. I´ll work hard as I did all my my life, and one day I´ll have a great job, a comfortable house and beautiful children (Maybe two or three).





martes, 7 de febrero de 2012

Introducing me


Hello, my name is Val and I'm a 25 year old woman who wants to become a SMC one day. How did I decide that? well, it´s a long story... and It will be my next post. So what about me? I´m a college graduate, now doing a postgraduate course. I still live with my parents, and I´m not ashamed of that. I think I´ll be living with them for a while because I need to save money to buy a house, and it´s easier if I live here. 
I know many people think I may be crazy, but I´m not a silly girl, I always think carefully before act. So in the next days, weeks and months I´ll be explain every point I have analized before I choose to be a SMC.
Just one more thing, I´m young I´m not going for a baby now. My planed age is between 30 and 32.
I want to read all you have to say. If you are a SMC already or if you are in the process please feel free to coment and advice me.


(I forgot to mention I´m not an native english speaker, so forgive me if I´m not a perfect writer)

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