miércoles, 10 de octubre de 2012

My future house part 2


In part 1 I said I found two of the government housing programs that may fit me,  the one I explained a couple of month ago (Plan 1),  and a new program which pretends to sell apartments that the government own (plan 2).

I like more the the last one, but they are both good. The reason why I like plan 2 is probably because when I was younger I used to live in one of this apartments.  They are preowned but in good conditions, It´s only five minutesfrom the beach the neighborhood is really nice and is the same I live in now, so if I buy one of this apt. I´ll be close to my parent´s house. 

The only bad thing about plan 2 is that a lot of people wants to be part of it but there are not enough apt to everyone, so they do a raffle (not sure if this is the right word). I almost have the money they ask for the house (only a part of the total price, I will pay the rest in 25 years!) so I hope to take part in the next raffle. If I´m lucky enough I´ll have my own apt by january :D 

Here are some pics. They are not mine, I found them on the internet but is just to show how my future house will be.







viernes, 28 de septiembre de 2012

My future house - part 1


Well, I don´t have a house yet, but i think and plan about it every day. There are many things that I have to consider and I would like to share with you.

I always wanted a big house because I thought I was going to have a lot of babies. The house in my dreams had a basement, a huge kitchen, a beautiful garden a fire place and it was located in a beautiful neibourhood. As I grow up, I realized that a house like that would be expensive and I didn´t have a lot of money.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my future house  and I decided that i should buy an apartment. I really love houses but in my stuation I just can´t live in a house.

First, here where I live houses are more expensive than apartments. The government now is trying to sell all apartments that are empty, they are cheap and you can pay them in 25 years.

The second reason that   makes me like apartments is that they are safe. Thats really important for me because I´m going to live alone with a baby.

Third reason, here there are some stupid taxes that you have to pay if you live in a house, but you don´t have to pay if you live in n apartment.

I investigated a little about state´s plans for housinG and I think I found two that can be a good choice for me, but I´ll tell you in part two because I´m tired now.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!


domingo, 16 de septiembre de 2012

Me again

It have been almost three month since the last time I wrote, and some interesting things had happened. First and the most important, I found a new job. At first it was going to be only for three month, but after the first month thay were happy with me so they offered me a full contract.

Basically that simple thing changed my life. Now I have access to private medical care, which is faster than the public one, and it´s no expensive. I have to work 8 hours a day, but I can also work extra hours. I decided to do 4 extra hours a day, if I'm allowed to do that, and  I´m paid double for every extra hour I work.  

I´m really happy with my new job, because now I'm able to save $500 every month for my future house and at the same time save extra money for my TTC journey.

I´m working really hard and have little free time, but as I´m well paid I´m happy. I´have lots of thing to share but not enough  time to write. I´ll try to update as soon as my body let me! 

miércoles, 27 de junio de 2012

I´m still here

I don´t have much to say. I´m still a 25 year old woman who wants to become a mom. I have a common life so I don´t have much to talk about. I´m trying to finish my post graduate course, working and saving money for my future house. 
I wanted to write just to say that I´m still here, I didn´t find the love of my life or changed my mind. I don´t write because I don´t have anything important to write about.
I read blogs almost everyday and I try to comment (when I don't get lazy). I don't want to abandon this blog! I will post if something important or interesting happens, but if not I will post just to say i´m still here :D

miércoles, 30 de mayo de 2012

Babies & responsibilities.

Last month my cousin had a new baby, a beautiful girl. We are all really happy because she's the first baby girl in the family. When she was born, I stayed during the first night at hospital with her and hers mom. I couldn´t sleep but I felt privileged to be there. I learned basic things about newborn babies that I didn´t know which is a good thing, but I also notice somo bad things.

While my cousin was still pregnant, she showed me all the baby stuff she had. I was amazed because she had a lot of things. However a few days after I saw the baby stuff my aunt told me that she didn´t had all the things she need, so we organised a baby shower. 

When she was born as I stayed with them I realized that she didn't have enough clothes. All the new clothes were big for her and she only had two one-piece outfits that fit her and a couple of leggings. I felt so sad for her!!! I told my mom that I was sad because of that and she told me that is hard to find the perfect size clothes for newborns.
Yesterday I went to visit her because she was ill (flu). It was heartbreaking seeing that beautiful baby that bad dressed and ill. She had really old clothes....

I feel sorry for her, but I´m angry at the same time because she was a planned baby and her parents are not providing her the basic things. Don't get me wrong, I would put used clothes to my baby if they were in a good condition, but the ones she was wearing wasn't. I´m angry because she has to be her parents priority, and she´s not. Last week her dad pay more than 50 dollars to go to a football match. He could had bought a nice outfit for his girl but he didn´t. 

It´s not the first time I see this. When they had their first baby they didn´t buy a thing for he. The difference was that they were unemployed by then so we felt we had to help them. But now They are being so irresponsible that they I feel they don't deserve help. I am wrong????

I don't understand why people do this kind of things!

martes, 22 de mayo de 2012

1593 - weekly update

I wanted to post yesterday, but I have to wake up early today (at 5 am) so I went to sleep early. This is supposed to be my weekly update about my house proyect.

I´m not sure if I wrote about this before, so I´m doing it now. I opened a bank account. It´s an special account to save money for house. I knew as soon as I learned about it, that  I had to have one. How does it work? You need a minimum amount of money to open it (about $500). Then you can deposit every month a minimum amout which is about  $100. If you deposit every month for 18 months then the bank  gives you up to 90% of the money that you need to the house. Then you pay to the bank a month mortgage (not sure if it´s the correct word...)

A pro of this is that you don't have to deposit every month, if one month you can't nothing bad happens. Plus you can deposit the amount you can. There are some others details but it´s pretty simple, and it´s a safe way to save because it´s a statal bank. My parents bought their house in a similar way with the same bank, and they had a positive experience. In fact I know many people who also bought their house with this bank and no one of them had bad experiences. So I guess this is the way I´m going to buy my house. 

I have some other news to share, but I'm tired now so I´m going to post my weekly update part 2 tomorrow with all that news!!

martes, 15 de mayo de 2012

Cycle ????

I´m not sure what´s happening with my body,  It have been crazy lately. I used to be health and my period was perfectly regular, but that changed.

I will have my gyn visit next month and so far I had a 18 days long period, a perfect  33 days long cycle, a 29 days long period with 10 days of follicular phase, and now 31 days long one.
I´m not sure if I ovulate or not this cycle... Anyway I have it registred and i´m going to show it to de new gyn.

When I was at college I had a microbiology teacher who told us to act like scientist when we or someone in our family is ill. She said that "not all doctors are Dr. House" so we have to use our knowledge.  She was right, specially in this  (my) country where doctors don´t always want to do their job.

Next time I go to de gyn I won´t be a passive patient, I´m going to show that doctor I´m not silly!

domingo, 13 de mayo de 2012

1602

I have a goal and I'm obsessed with it.

I want a house, my own house.

A place where I can rise my kid/s

I set a date: On my 30th birthday I ´ll will have my own house. It´s my priority.

How I´m going to save enough? That´s an answer I give right now

I have 1602 days until my 30th birthday

1602 days to save enough to buy a house.

Just to put some presure I´m going to update how I´m doing.

Wish me luck! It´s going to be hard...

viernes, 4 de mayo de 2012

I'm leaving

After a long conversation with one of my friends I decided I should leave one of my jobs. It´s not easy but I can´t continue like this. I´m really tired and don´t want to get ill. Maybe the problem I had with my cycle is because I work so hard.

I started to look for a new job. If possible a well paid one, or at least one where I work few hours. I surf  the web every day looking for  something I could do, but I live in South America so there are no opportunities for us. It´s sad...

If you have any ideas about howto make money online I would love to hear about it.

 I'll be looking for a decent job until I find it!

miércoles, 2 de mayo de 2012

It's not working...

I have been working so hard this past two weeks, I have two different jobs so it's really hard. I don´t have time for my, I can´t watch movies, can´t read, can´t go out, can´t read blogs etc. I´m not happy with this situation, but I know I need to work hard if I want to earn more money to have my own place. Well it´s not working...

I used to think that if I found a new job my earnings would be higher and I could save for  house. I was wrong. It´s sad what I´m going to say and maybe you won´t believe me, but now I´m working almost 12 hours a day and I don´t even get 600 dollars a month. How I`m suppose to buy a 100000 dollars house if I only earn 500 dolars a month???

I´m really upset. I have a college degree and I almost finish  a master degree  and don´t find a decent job. Some days I just hate this country and its government. It´s stupid how low salaries are and it´s even more stupid the percentage of discount people have in their salaries. 

I know I have to think about alternatives, but I don´t really know what to do. I  wish I was born somewhere else, where at least if  I work hard I could get opportunities, which won´t happen here.

martes, 10 de abril de 2012

Cycle mess up

I used to have 33 days long cycles, But the last three ones have been a mess. In january I had my period on the 22th, then 18 days later it come again on february 9th. After this unusual cycle I went to the gyn and he told me it was perfectly normal. 

I'm not stupid, I know it´s not normal. I'm a scientist (I don´t now if I said that before), not a specialist in fertility, but when I was at college I had to study everything about menstrual cycles; hormone levels, period length, etc. But as I said I'm not a specialist so I went home and  wait to see what happened.  The gyn said that my next period should be a 33 day long normal period, and it was! For a couple of weeks I thought that period was normal, but  today I realized it wasn´t. 

I was on day 29 today, and everything was normal until an hour ago. I had a strong pain in my tummy and when I went to the bathroom My period was there! 
I have been using an internet chart for a while because I lost my old temp charts (thats one of the reasons I hate my computer). According to this chart I ovulate on fiday 30th, on cd18. Today is my day cycle 1, so I had a 10 days luteal fase. THAT'S NOT NORMAL!!!

I haven´t been lucky with doctors, I always get the worst ones. That makes me sad, not only because I don´t get the help I need but also because of their actitude. In my country you don´t have to pay to go to college, and our doctors are really good and earn a lot of money. Health services are free to everyone, you won´t pay almost anything (some meds maybe if they are not availabe). So, why do they have this f**ing actitude????? They will always take advantage of pacients, they will try to work as little as posible and what makes me angry they won´t pay attention to you when you say that something is wrong with your body.

I know my body better than anyone. I have been charting my temperature since I was 18 (I'm 25 now) So believe me I  know if something is not right. I'm going to wait one more cycle and then I'll go to the gyn again. I won´t stop until someone attend me in a proper way.

Here's a pic of my last temp chart (in spanish :s)


martes, 27 de marzo de 2012

I'm a lucky girl


My mom always talks about how doors open when I want to do something. Not always but sometimes I really feel like if I were a lucky girl. Well that´s how I feel now.

Last saturday I was reading the web site of a local fertility clinic when something grabbed my atention. They offer what they call "mixed donation". What´s a mixed donation? If you need a fertility treatment but you can´t afford it, they will do it for free if you donate some of your eggs. You have to be a healthy woman, be under 30, you can´t have endometriosis, your hormone levels have to be normal and you can't have any infectious or genetic desease.

At first I thought that was perfect, but then I remembered That I can't legally go through a fertility treatment because I'm single. After reading a little more I realized that they talk about womens, and that they would be evaluated by a psicologist, but they never talk about the "husband". I decided I should ask them a little more information about this program, and see if I qualified for it.

Guess what? I do qualify! even if I'm single. Its seems that not many couples donate eggs/embryos so any chance to get them is good, and it´s not illegal still don't understand why, but I don't mind it either.

The only not good thing is the donor, no one can choose it. They say donors have to be anonymous and they don´t pay to them. Don´t know what to think about this... But I´m a lucky girl, I´m sure

martes, 20 de marzo de 2012

Autumn



Today in my country and in all the southern hemisphere we welcome autumn. I love this season the weather is not too hot or cold. I love it's warmness.

Since I was a little girl unconsciously saw autumn as a new beggining. I think that's because we started school in the fall so I relate it to "new beggining" and that continued through the years.

This year I started a new job, I open a bank account to rise money to buy a house and planned lots of things about my future. So again it's a new beggining for me.

Things have been really good for me since this year started. Everything I planed went great and I hope to continue this way. However I should stop dreaming with houses. I don´t have luck with houses. Do you remember that house I said I liked? guess what, it was sold.

I think I'm good with short term objectives. So all I´m going to do for my future house is to save money. I have set an amount of money for each month and I hope at least to reach that objective.
Each month a new beggining


sábado, 10 de marzo de 2012

Sadness...



That's what I feel right now.
I feel so sad because I can't end this relationship.
I feel sad because I thought it was going to be different.
I feel sad because I don´t want to hurt anyone, I don´t want to be hated.

Why does people change so much?  Is it my fault? 

I can´t stop crying since last night. I feel so guilty, even when I know It wasn´t my fault. I must admit he has helped me a lot, but the price was high. I couldn´t see my friends, I had to stop doing things I love, I had to deal with people I can´t stand, people who treat me like rubbish. And recently he started to say awful things about my family. I can´t accept this!

Why do I feel this way? Because I know he is not bad, it´s just he was raised in a terrible way. Sadly I don't think he would find a woman who hold up all this. 

I wish him the best, but I can´t go. 

I wish I were brave enough to put an end in this relationship but I'm not.

jueves, 8 de marzo de 2012

fate?



I have been looking for a house for a while, even when I didn´t have a good job. Well something strange happens every time I put my eye in a house. 

The first one was sold so quickly that I wanted to cry! The second one was on sale, but suddenly the owner decided he was going to live there again. Bye second house. After that I stopped to look for houses, I didn´t want to get dissapointed again.

 Now guess what? I found a new other house. It's not so far from my parents house you can go there by foot. The location of the house is perfect, the neighborhood is perfect but it has a problem, it´s a little bit deteriorated. However that's not what worries me because some family members can help me to reconstruct it. What really worries me is my historial of "I like that house, house becomes unavailable"

I hope I can get the house I want this time.

lunes, 5 de marzo de 2012

First day


Today was my nephew's first day at school. I can´t believe he is at school!

I  don´t want to sound like an old woman, but time passes so fast! I still remember when he was born, so little and now he's at school.

He was so cute in his school uniform and also nervous. When he had to go inside he started crying, and I wanted to cry to! 

He was at school only three hours because they have a two week adaptation period. After we picked him up we asked him why he cried and he said "I was afraid". So we explained him there's was nothing to be afraid of.


I tried hard to take pictures of him on his first day at school, but he wouldn't let me.  I only took four when he was distracted so no good shoots, but at least I have some pictures.

Now wonder how would be my kids's first day at school.

domingo, 4 de marzo de 2012

What do I need to become a SMC?

I'm a little obsessed with lists, I have always been actually. Recently I made a new list; Things to do/have before becoming a mom. I don´t know if every one has a list, but I consider it's important to have one. Why? because I can put myself short and long term goals.

First thing I need is a house. I have always dream with my house and I know exactly how it´s going to be. But I want to save enough to go out there and buy one,  don´t wanna pay every month for my house (don´t know if there's an english word for that). If I´m going to be a SMC I don´t want to worry about payments,  It's not convinient to have an extra expense.

Next thing in my list is a car. Believe it or not, I don´t own a car and it's necessary, particulary if you are going to be single and with kids. Imagine going to see a doctor with two little kids if don´t have a car. I NEED ONE!

A good job. Now I have two and it's ok. But when I have a baby I wouldn´t like to work twelve hours a day. It's not fair for the kid, and I want to enjoy them.

When I finally achieve all that, and I decide to conceive I´ll need to have enough money to afford fertility treatment. I´ll need about  $5000.

If I succeed and I get pregnant, the baby will need a lot on thing. I want to be ready for that, and give my baby the best I can. I won´t bring a baby to this world if I can´t give she/he a good life quality.


Surely there are more things that are not in this list, but I believe things listed here are the essential ones.

Is there something important missing in my list?





miércoles, 29 de febrero de 2012

Good news to end february!


This is going to be a two in one post.

First I finally  have an answer, in fact three answers. Three of the fertility clinics I wrote to, have answered. It´s very simmilar to what I´ve thought. But there´s a big detail, I can choose the donor. This is actualy a good,  I was a bit upset because I thought They would do that, but I was wrong.
The costs are similar in the three clinics and not as expensive as a fertility treatment in my country.

Secondly, I got a new job!

and you can´t imagine how happy I´m for this! I have been looking for a good job for a while and finally I found one. This is the beggining on my new life. Now I´ll focus in saving for a house and finding one.

I think my life is starting to be as I want it to be. I´m very happy.

martes, 21 de febrero de 2012

Update!


Since I realized that I won't be able to have a fertility treatment in my country I started to send emails to every fertility clinic that I found  in Argentina. Noone has answered yet, but since it is carnival I suppose they didn't went to work. 

Apparently, There´s no regulation of fertility treatments there, so It´s legal for singles. I also read that a couple of lesbians had a baby via IVF. The only bad thing is that you can´t choose your donor, and your child in the future won´t be able to meet his father :/

I have no idea about the costs in my country but in Argentina it is about 5000 US dollars, for a round of IVF all included, medicine, ultrasound, and some other stuff. I also have to pay for the trip and a hotel.  I don´t think that's expensive, isn´t it? 

 I hope to have an answer soon.

domingo, 19 de febrero de 2012

Bad news


As I'm not trying to conceive yet and I'm  getting ready for that, I did a little investigation about fertility clinics in my country. I had an ugly surprise. 
In my Country there's a fertility law, which ONLY ALOWS MARRIED  COUPLES TO CONCEIVE.  If you want to be a single mom/dad or If you are lesbian and with your partner  want a baby you can´t have access to assisted fertilization. 
This makes me angry! It's not fair!!!
Why can´t I be a mom? Because I'm not married?
You can´t be a mom if you are not heterosexual?
Right now I feel discriminated. 
So what about adoptions? Ok you have to be married to, and it´s hard to adopt even if you are married.
I need a new plan. This is going to be really hard...

martes, 14 de febrero de 2012

I am ready?

Good question!

When I was 18 months old my sister was born, three and half years after, my youngests brother was born. I remember how used to change his diaper and I was only five! Two months before my tenth birthday my first nephew was born. After that, our family recived 8 baby boys (yes all boys :D). When there was a baby there I was, so I learn at a really young age how to treat a baby.

I know what to do with a baby. But motherhood isn´t just about how to treat a baby, isn´t it? How do I know if I´m  ready? 

After almost two years thinking I realized that I can´t know until I become a mother. However I can have an idea. I used to "babysit" my godson, and I can say for sure I loved that. Everything!! going to the park, baby bath, nap time music (we used to listen baby music to sleep), baby food and a big etc. Now my god son is six, and we have a great "little" relationship (he used to call me mama until he realizes I wasn´t his mama). He is a beautiful boy! So if you ask my I would say yes I am ready, but as I say before, I can´t know for sure...

Then there´s a bigger challenge, Would I be a good mother?
I am that kind of person who doesn´t like to judge. I don´t know if I can do things better than someone else, or  how I would act at a certain situation so I can´t opine. However  I don´t like the way my sister/cousins are raising their kids. I know they I´ll love them, but that doesn´t justify spoiling them. I don´t want to spoil my kids, I want them to be happy. I´ll do my best for them, and I´ll love them. 

Would I be a good mother? I hope so

sábado, 11 de febrero de 2012

Analysis

A couple of days ago, I read in a forum a post of a woman whose ten years boyfriend of ten years didn´t want to have kids. She wanted to be a mom so she was thinking about insemination. Many people told her she was a "bad woman, who didn´t love his partner" and that "she didn´t deserve him". I was like OMG I CAN´T BE READING THIS" but actually,I was. So I commented to say that if she really wanted to be a mom, she shouldn´t be waiting for the man of her dreams, and that she should do what makes her happy. That was the worst thing I could have done! I was insulted because of my comment.
Obviously, I won´t change my mind because  a bunch of impolite people don´t agree with me, but that made me think. Think about what? About the arguments I have to support my desicion. I made a list about what people (not the impolite ones) asked the girl to think about before doing anything. I think it´s a good idea to have great answers to these questions, because one day I´ll have to answer them. So, here it is!

*Are you ready to be a mom?
*Trying to have your own baby while there are lots of kids whithout a mom/dad is a selfish act, why don´t you adopt?
*Who is going to take care of your baby, while you work?
*What would happen to your baby if something bad  happens to you?
*Do you know how much money you need to rise a baby?
*Can you afford education fees?
*Did you know that if you don´t have a man by your side, it´s going to be very hard to rise your baby?
*How will you explain to your baby that he/she doesn´t have a father?

I have my ideas and I won't change them, but I know that not everyone is going to be happy with them. That´s why I need some good answer, experience taught me that if you expose your ideas with solutions to the possible problems people will  at least respect you.
I´m going to think about my great answers and I´ll post about them later.

Have a good weekend!






























































































































miércoles, 8 de febrero de 2012

My story, my decision


As I said in my first post I'm going to talk about how I decide to be a SMC. 
First of all, I grow up in a totally normal family, with a mom, a dad, siblings, and I never saw my parents arguing. I was rised in a christian family (don´t ask about my religion because I´m not sure of it) So, you can say I was a totally normal girl.
When I was a little girl, I always dream with  big families; mom dad and maybe four or five children. however as I grow up I started to pay attention just on babies. Why? I think because I grew up rounded by babies. First, my older cousin had two boys, then my other two cousins had a boy each, finally my sister (one and half year younger than me) had a boy (yes, all boys). At first it was funny playing with the babies, bath them or change their diapers/clothes. Then I realized I love babies and that I would have mine one day because babies/kids make me happy.
I decided at a young age that I wanted to have kids. But what about having a husband? Well, I was never sure about that, but can´t decide if I don´t know how it is. I had experiences with babies but never had a husband!I was allways open to meet boy, but they were not interest in me as a girl, only as a friend. It can be painful, and I suffered a lot because of that.
I can say I was in love tree times. The first two were just nasty men, and I still don´t get how I fall in love with them. The last one... I still love him, and we are actually in a relationship, but I know this is going to end one day or other. I´m crying as I write this, I thought he was my soul mate. I won´t blame he, nor me, sometimes things won´t work... I don't wanna talk about this because it makes me sad, and I can´t be sad. I have a future to plan!


Lately I come up with this idea; not all woman are made to be with a man and not all woman are made to have babies. I´m made to be alone, I know that, but I also know I´m made to be a mom. the decision of being a single mom is not easy, and It was´nt took in a deseperate moment. I had a long and deep talk with some close friends about it, and did my own analysis (I´ll post about every aspect I had analized).
I won´t let anyone keep me off my dream. I´ll work hard as I did all my my life, and one day I´ll have a great job, a comfortable house and beautiful children (Maybe two or three).





martes, 7 de febrero de 2012

Introducing me


Hello, my name is Val and I'm a 25 year old woman who wants to become a SMC one day. How did I decide that? well, it´s a long story... and It will be my next post. So what about me? I´m a college graduate, now doing a postgraduate course. I still live with my parents, and I´m not ashamed of that. I think I´ll be living with them for a while because I need to save money to buy a house, and it´s easier if I live here. 
I know many people think I may be crazy, but I´m not a silly girl, I always think carefully before act. So in the next days, weeks and months I´ll be explain every point I have analized before I choose to be a SMC.
Just one more thing, I´m young I´m not going for a baby now. My planed age is between 30 and 32.
I want to read all you have to say. If you are a SMC already or if you are in the process please feel free to coment and advice me.


(I forgot to mention I´m not an native english speaker, so forgive me if I´m not a perfect writer)

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