sábado, 28 de octubre de 2017

Getting ready part 1

I decided that I will sechedule my adoption interview for January. However in this country january and february are summer months and most public offices don't work as they normally do. So it's possible that I will have to wait until march to do the interview or april in the worst scenario.
Thats not actually a problem since I still have some housing issues that need a separete post to be explained. If I'm very lucky I will move in april... but I'm not normally lucky. I will need to move to my own place before starting the homestudy. The only thing I will try to do as soon as posible after the interview is the registry, because that will determine how fast I can have a child with me. 
I have been reading adoption blogs from all over the world but I only found one about adoption in my country and I doesn't have usefull information. I would like to know so many things that I won't know untill I get to do the interview. I don't understand why people try to hide the fact that they are going to adopt... Probably I will write a blog in spanish about my experience for those who are in my situation.
One of the lengh determining factors, as I said in my previous post is the "preferences". I don't like that word, but I can't find a better one in english. So I read that black, asian, children with dissabilities or serious illnesses and older kids are not wanted. In a sistem where there are about 100 families waiting for kids to be placed there are almost 200 kids to be placed, and half of them are not likely to be adopted because of their age, ilnesses or because they belong to a group of siblings and siblings wont be separated.
I suppopse then, because I have almost no information about the process that at some point I will be asked which caracteristics will I be able to acept.

If I have to pick an age, anything between 0 to 4 will be okay but probably can take a 7 y/o child. As for race I can accept any race but I have to admit that I have a love asian babies. I lived in South Korea and got in love with babies there. If I ever have a IUI I will definetly pick an asian donor. Probably there aren't asian kids to be adopted, probably only mixed and I'm not sure if there are any actually, but I read a social worker's from the adoption agency inteview where she stated that black and asian kids aren't wanted so at least at some point there were.
Medical condition Is probably what makes me more uncertain. I will be a single mom and I have to consider that some serious conditions won't be easy for me as I will only live on one income and teacher's incomes aren't that high. So I can say yes to a child to not to serious health issues.
Adopting siblings can also make the process shorter. I'm not sure if I will be able to deal with more than one kid an the time. I think I can do it, since I normally have 25 in my class and have no major problems.  If I'm offered siblings and they are no older than 4 year old maybe I can accept, but will depend on the kids condition mostly.
Finally I have to say that I tottally prefer girls. Probably because I came from a family with mostly boys. I also find that girls are easier to handle than boys and they are just cute. I have no information about how gender preferences are trated, but i'm sure its probably random and that I can't pick that.

domingo, 22 de octubre de 2017

Adoption process

I've been researching about the adoption process for some time now, and all I can say is that is not very clear. I can't say how long it takes or if I will really end up with a kid. I will write down all I have found so far which isn't much by the way.

There is only one type of adoption, and it finishes all ties with the biological family. However, when the child is 18 can ask to the goverment agency for the information about the biological parents.  Adoption process is 100% free and can only be done by the goverment's agency

Requirements

*be older than 25 years old

*be at least 15 years older than the child that you will adopt.

*single, married or not married couples.

Interview

The first step is to schedule an informative interview, only aafter you have attended to the interview you are allowed to go on with the adoption process. Every month's last tuesday you can book in the interview and it will be for the next month.

Registry

After the first interview, if you decide that you want to adopt yo need to register as a potencial adopter. They require specific documents during the interview that you will have to bring to regist.

Homestudy

Four monthly activities are required and after that you will have 3 interviews with a social worker and at least two with a psicologist. When all that is done, the adoption team decide if they approve you as an adoptive parent. If you are aproved then you go to a list called RUA where you are put in order by the date that you did the registry.

Wait...

When you get to the RUA you have to wait until a child is placed with you. How long you will have to wait basically depends on what you decided to accept. For new babies the wait is about 4 years, if you want older kids the wait is shorter. Also I read that people here won't accept black or asian kids, so if you accept kids of these races time will also be shorter. Finally there are many many kids with disabilities that are ready for adoption, but no one wants them. Adopting on of them would also reduce the waiting time.




viernes, 11 de agosto de 2017

Different path

Since I started thinking about being a smc I knew that IUI or IFV was going to be my way. Adoption never was on my list, not because I wouldn't like to adopt, but because I was not allowed as a single mother to adopt any child. Since I started the blog this changed. New adoption law was made and now single woman, man and gay couples can adopt. This change aimed to rise the number of adoptions, but apparently people here still preffers white babies, so any child that is mixed, asian or black and over 2 yeras old is unlikely that will be adoppted.
I discovered this about two months ago, and since then I can't stop thinking about it. There are too many things to consider, but the whole procces is free, so I won't  lose money if I can't addopt, but there's always the emotional part...
What can go wrong? well actually a co worker told me a story about a teacher she kneew. She did all as she was supposed to, but was told by a social workrt that she should go and find a man to have babies insted of trying to adopt... My coworker didn't know if that teache end up adopting or gave up, but what they told her was just awful.
I will give adoption a try, I'll explain later why I want to try and how is the proccess. I  will schedule my first adoption interview in January so I have about 4 month to prepare myself.

sábado, 22 de abril de 2017

Mess

Until February I used to have normal periods, but since then weird things have been happening, like bleeding in cd 10, so last week I made an appointment with a new gynecologist. At first I was just going to do at routine check up, but after a conversation with a co/worker I decided to talk about my future plans.
I am 30 years and 6 month olds now so tecnically I should still have some good eggs, but I had my first period when I was just 10... I don't know if that can affect my fertility but I prefer to make sure I can save some eggs. 
I have a new health insurance and so far, I love it. They have a fertiliy specialist that is like 15 minutes from my house and won't be a problem to visit her.  My plan now is to save some eggs now so that in two years I can have my own babies... 
I hope that the bleeding episode won't be problem... wish me luck

domingo, 11 de diciembre de 2016

I'm in peace

In october I turned 30, I look like 22 but I have already lived 3 decades. Even if It feels good when peopl says that I look younger, I know that I'm not and I want to do  what all grown up people do. At thi point, most of my friends are married or living with their partners. I've been thinking about my status, why I am still single? I have dated, I have loved, then why I am still alone?
For some time these questions tortured me, is it about being pretty, or smart or what is it? Then one day I met a guy and forgot about eveything. At first I didn't want to get too much ivolved with him, but just couldn't. He was all I ever wished, smart, hardworked, he valued family more than anything, and I thought he loved me. We spent together some months and I was really happy during that time. Then one day a friend of mine told me that a friend of hers was talking with him through an online dating site. He said to her, that she was single, had no girlfriend or kids, was looking for a good woman to spend life with and that she was so beautiful and he wanted to met her.
At first It was hard to believe for me, I decided not to tell him instantly but I wanted to check if that was true. What I did was to ask him  if he thought I was a bad person but he never asked. When he talked back again he said we couldn't meet anymore. I knew it was because of the other girl, but didn't say anything. After week we met and as I knew I wasn't going to be able to speak much I wrote him a letter, telling him how I felt about him, how happy I was when we were together and how he was all I ever wanted. I wanted to hear his version about the events, yet all he said  was that he told me that because he was too stressed. Never said a word about the other girl, neither did I. He wanted to kept our relationship, but I said goodbye. I told him I hope he finds a beautiful woman as he wanted, wished all the best and leave.
I cried all my way home and spend all night thinking. Next morning I woke up knowing tha I'm happy being alone. That day I decided I was not looking for a guy anymore, if someone is made for me, he will appear at some point. Meanwhile, I will continue my life and I will do all that makes me happy including having a baby on my own.

sábado, 10 de diciembre de 2016

2 years, nine months and 5 days

That's the time off I've taken. So many things have happened during this time, I found a new job, I quitted, find a new one, travel, moved to other country, turned 30 years old and finally returned home.
Fortunately, when I chose a date to start ttc, I knew there were some things that I was going to do, and that's why I choosed 2018.
When december is finished, I will start my TTC countdown from 12 and I need to solve some things. My main concerns are:
>Which hospital I will chose to have my baby and as a consequence
>Will I use private treatment or the subsidate one?
>Tell my family about my plans (my close friends know about it and support me)
>Save money, because I know that I will spend more than what I have planned
>Open my academy, not related with TTC but Its something I want to do before having babies
Now that I'm starting my TTC for real I will start blogging more often. I wish I can find some of my new blogger friends again :)

jueves, 6 de marzo de 2014

No baby, no house, no job

I didn´t got pregnant on my last try and that´s not going to happen soon.
I lost my job on january, now I´m back in my mom´s house and mine is rented...
It was the only way I could keep the house.
 I´m not happy at all but I´ll work hard to find a new job and go on with my baby plans

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